Day 47: Meet a Motor Moron!




March 23, 2005 at 1:13 pm

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Over six weeks of PT, and I’ve finally met an exercise that stumps me and the issue isn’t even with my knee!

As my PT, Renee, good-naturedly put it today, I am what you’d call a “Motor Moron“.

I have zero motor skills, at least not when the activity requires

of my body!

Even after Renee was forced to take time out to (attempt to) help me mirror her for at least four sets of lateral slides, I still couldn’t get everything to function in unison — legs positioned shoulder’s width apart, bend at the knees, keep the back straight and the butt aimed at the floor (like you’re sitting in the air), then slide and repeat. Every time I start or complete the slide, my back and/or knees are straightening, my feet don’t know what to do, and my brain’s going haywire.

Clearly, I’m not wired quite right when it comes to lateral movement. And don’t even get me started on placing and picking up cones amid all the rest of this going on — Renee realized that was futile with me pretty quickly!

‘Course, I still bombed it even without the distraction of cones.

“Motor Moron“… man, that one’s going to stick, too!

Six and a half weeks of stellar PT and I now have a nickname I won’t be able to live down.

It’s funny how much you learn about yourself in PT.

Some people discover they can do things they never thought they could (and probably didn’t WANT to know they could, at that!) Me? I discover things I somehow make much more difficult than conceivably possible!

Today made it plainly obvious to me why I went into orchestra in middle school, rather than marching band; why the only competitive sport I was ever interested in pursuing (though I never did) was track — running in a straight line; why I cannot dance to save my life; etc.!

I wish I could say that when I got home and tried a couple more lateral slide drills that “I got it!” but… uhm… No joy, yet!

Of course I’ll keep working on it, but it is frustrating to the point of humor — lateral slides, who knew they’d be my “downfall”?

Kara and Renee, in typical good-natured PT form, both think this is good for me. PT’s been “too easy” up to this point, and now I “have something to write about in the journal!” PT’s always have a way of turning a negative into a positive, don’t they?

Justin and I have this joke when something that should be simple seems overly complex, like opening a container we’ve never seen before, or using a new but simple device (like the plastic fuel strainer cup he uses to check fuel in an airplane). We blame it on our college education — too much “book-learnin’” couples with not enough common sense and equals downright stupid, sometimes!

A “Motor Moron”.

Maybe I should stick to , although my genetics also predispose me to not understanding anything about what’s under its hood (other than 300 HP!)

On a more serious note, I must follow the lead of my friend , and link to

this world.

It’s a good read, although if you’re in a workplace or with kiddos around, maybe it’s a better read at home (since the word also means “a female dog,” though, I say get-over-it-already!)

That’s all for now. Back to trying to teach this 31-year-old dog how to do lateral slides before my 7:30 AM PT session tomorrow.

Yeah, place your bets now my friends!




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